TeenTalk Counselor’s Teen Survival Guide for the Holidays
TeenTalk, a Kids In Crisis program, places our Master’s-level mental health counselors in Fairfield County middle and high schools. There are currently programs in 18 schools in Fairfield County. The specially trained, compassionate counselors identify and help students navigate difficult personal, family, and school-related issues. TeenTalk Counselors augment school staff by providing confidential individual, group, and family counseling as well as preventive education on issues of importance to the health and well-being of young people.
Recently, all of the TeenTalk counselors got together to discuss an important topic: how teens that they work with can survive the holidays. They gathered in our Greenwich office, sharing stories of students they’ve supported (names have been changed) and reflecting on what’s helped their students most during this time of year. These conversations inspired this guide to Teen Holiday Mental Health Tips for navigating this challenging season.
The holiday season is often portrayed as a time of joy, togetherness, and perfection—complete with flawless meals, endless laughter, and cozy moments by the fire. But the reality? It’s not always picture-perfect, and that’s okay. For teens, the pressure to meet these high expectations can feel overwhelming, especially when life’s challenges—school, friendships, or mental health—are already demanding.
If you’ve ever felt stressed or let down during the holidays, you’re not alone. The good news is that by setting realistic expectations, you can create a holiday experience that feels meaningful, not stressful. Here’s your guide to surviving—and thriving—this holiday season, featuring the top Teen Holiday Mental Health Tips from our counselors.
The Ten Most Important Things Teens Should Know This Holiday Season
1. Remember: No One’s Holiday Is Perfect
Social media can make it seem like everyone else is having a magical time, but those highlight reels rarely show the arguments, burnt cookies, or awkward moments behind the scenes.
- A Story Shared From the Counselor at a Stamford School: “One student, Mia, told me how hard it was to see people posting their perfect holidays online. She said, ‘It’s like my family’s holiday isn’t good enough.’ I suggested she take a social media break over the holidays. She tried it and later said it helped her focus on what really mattered.”
Tip: Limit your time on social media if it’s making you feel pressured or inadequate. Focus on your own experiences instead of comparing them to others.
2. Focus on What You Can Control
You can’t change family dynamics, fix every problem, or make everyone happy—and you shouldn’t feel like you have to. Shift your energy toward what you can influence.
Tip: Create your own mini traditions, like journaling about what you’re grateful for or watching your favorite holiday movie solo.
3. Embrace Imperfection
Things won’t always go as planned, and that’s okay. Whether it’s a dish that doesn’t turn out right or a last-minute change in plans, try to roll with the punches.
- A Story Shared From the Counselor at a Darien School: “Sophie was upset because her family couldn’t get the tree up in time for Christmas. But as she told me about her cat knocking over the half-decorated tree, she started laughing. We talked about how those funny, imperfect moments often make the best memories.”
Tip: Find humor in the hiccups. Sometimes the imperfect moments become the best memories.
4. Communicate Your Needs
It’s easy to feel overlooked or overwhelmed during family gatherings. Don’t be afraid to speak up about what you need to feel comfortable.
Tip: If you need a break, say so! Step outside, find a quiet room, or bring along headphones to listen to calming music.
5. Create Space for Your Emotions
Holidays can stir up a range of feelings, from happiness to stress, sadness, or frustration. All of these emotions are valid.
- A Story Shared From the Counselor at a Greenwich School: “Lila lost her grandmother last year and felt guilty for not being festive. We talked about how it’s okay to feel grief and joy at the same time. She decided to write a letter to her grandmother during the holidays and told me it helped her feel more at peace.”
Tip: Practice journaling, mindfulness, or talking with someone you trust to process how you’re feeling.
6. Set Small, Meaningful Goals
Instead of aiming for a perfect holiday, focus on creating small moments of joy or connection.
- A Story Shared From the Counselor at a Norwalk School: “Carlos told me he felt too stressed to plan big holiday activities. I suggested starting small, so he baked cookies with his little brother. He came back after the break and said that afternoon turned out to be the highlight of his holiday.”
Tip: Try something simple, like baking cookies, calling a friend, or helping out with holiday prep. These little actions can bring big feelings of accomplishment and warmth.
7. Remember Self-Care Is Key
The holidays can be busy, but that doesn’t mean you should neglect your well-being.
- A Story Shared From the Counselor at an Elementary School: “Jack was overwhelmed by all the holiday events. We talked about how he could create balance by sticking to his regular sleep and exercise routines. He said that staying grounded made it easier to enjoy the holidays.”
Tip: Stick to your routines as much as possible—regular sleep, movement, and time for relaxation can help keep you grounded.
8. Give Yourself Grace
It’s okay not to feel festive 24/7 or to take time for yourself during the holidays.
Tip: Remind yourself that you’re doing your best, and that’s enough. Treat yourself with kindness and compassion.
9. Look Beyond the Holidays
Sometimes, putting all your hopes on one day or event can lead to disappointment. Remember that the holiday season is just one part of your year.
Tip: Think about what you’re looking forward to after the holidays and keep those goals in mind.
10. Know When to Ask for Help
If the holidays feel overwhelming or bring up intense emotions, it’s okay to reach out for support.
- A Story Shared From the Counselor at a Boys and Girls Club After School Program: “Ben felt anxious about family arguments during the holidays. He came to me and said, ‘I don’t know what to do.’ We talked about how asking for help isn’t a weakness. By confiding in someone he trusted, he found ways to navigate those challenges.”
Tip: Talk to a trusted adult, friend, or mental health professional. You don’t have to navigate this season alone.
The holidays don’t have to be perfect to be meaningful. By focusing on these Teen Holiday Mental Health Tips and prioritizing your well-being, you can enjoy the season in a way that feels authentic and manageable.
Get Connected with Mental Health Care Now
We’d love to connect you or someone you know with mental health care. To refer a child, teen, adolescent, or yourself, please call 203.661.1911. Kids In Crisis’s expert team of Master’ s-level mental health counselors, social workers, and nurses provide mental health care and therapy to teams and families virtually for families in Fairfield County.
